Teaching Children to Work

            When we say that teaching children to work, do you picture sending them to the salt mines to perform hard labor?  Nah. Teaching children about work starts at a young age, usually with teaching them to pick up their toys.  This usually involves the parents getting down on the floor and picking up 10 toys to each of their 1, clapping and cheering like crazy for their efforts. As they get older, they become better and better.  The beautiful thing is that toddlers want to please.  The key at this juncture is to encourage their efforts, which actually takes some effort.  It would be easier to take the broom from the 3-year-old who looks with pride saying, “Look Mommy, I help you!”  I know you could do it 100 times faster.  I know you could do it 100 times better, plus you don’t knock everything off of the counter with the broom handle.  Having patience with their efforts and offering applause will pay dividends in the future, as they gain confidence and ability with time and feel pride in their efforts.  

            Cleaning time at our house is a family effort, but no cleaning session would be complete without some fun tunes and a dance party. Kids need to learn that work is not drudgery.  Work is a natural part of life and can even be fun.  Remember that scene in Mary Poppins where they clean up the nursery?  I can’t promise that your house will be cleaned with just a snap of your fingers, but the cleaning can get done pretty fast as you mix the fun and work. Afterwards, there should be some family fun time as a reward.  Go to a park or go outside and play some games to reward all that hard work.  Establish some traditions around what we call Family Work and your kids won’t groan when it is time to get some done.

Paying for Chores

Some people pay their children for the chores they do around the house.  In our house, we do not pay for every chore.  Some chores are expected just as a normal part of being a part of a family, such as making your bed and keeping your room clean, and cleaning up after dinner.  We do pay for chores that go beyond normal daily chores, such as washing the car, pulling weeds and other yard work.

Finding Money Earning Opportunities

As our children have grown, we have found opportunities for them to develop their work ethic and also earn them some money.  There will always be a need in neighborhoods for someone to blow leaves, mow yards, house sit and pet sit while people are out of town, dogs that need to be walked, and kids to babysit.  This is when the years of encouraging their efforts to learn how to work start to pay them back.  Once they start working in the neighborhood, encourage them to do a great job and go above and beyond.  They will be recognized for their good work ethic and thus be given more opportunities. At our house we have hired several teens and preteens in the neighborhood to help with large outdoor projects.  The ones that get a repeat invitation are the ones that did a great job the first time. 

We have acreage, which in and of itself offers daily opportunities for work as we take care of the land and animals.  Our oldest has been earning money by raising baby goats since he was about 7.  He feeds the animals and cares for their pen, and in return he gets to keep the money from the sale of the goats.  He has been able to earn quite a sum of money over the years.

Now, you might not have acreage and farm animals, but chances are there are some ways in your neighborhood to earn money.  Babysitting, raking leaves, dog walking, lawn mowing, washing cars.  At first this money can be just for fun purchases, but as they get older this money can go to their first vehicle.

Pay for Good Grades?

We have several friends who pay their children for grades.  Every family is different, but we have chosen not to do this.

Part of our Love and Logic Parenting is to congratulate our children on their efforts, character traits, and behaviors and not on the outcomes.  A child that is gifted in math does not deserve more money reward for their “A” than the child that worked hard, got tutoring, and did everything that they possibly could and earned a C.  Some children have learning disabilities, and they should not be punished. Therefore, we do not pay for good grades in school.

Kids should be taught to work, and not to just work for money.  There is pride in a job well done.  There is joy in work, in working hard and seeing the results of those efforts. This is not a one time lesson, but a lesson that will take years but yields great results.

The child that learns to work and to work hard will not be a 26 year old living in your basement who just plays video games all day.